


Rest Now. You’ve Earned It.

by Zinzanzelf



Series: Shumako Week 2021 [3]
Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: After November 19th, Attics, Bedside chats, Cafe Leblanc (Persona 5), F/M, JKQN, Not wanting her to worry, ShuMako Week 2021, Shumako week, The Lord of the Rings References, The little ways of showing you care, Words that We Couldn't Say, Wounds and trauma, post interrogation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-19 05:34:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29994654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zinzanzelf/pseuds/Zinzanzelf
Summary: “We’ll see you later.”No one knew what the day after November 19th would bring. The Phantom Thieves could only trust that their friend and leader would return to them. And when he did, he brushed it off like it was nothing. But for the one he held closest to his heart, she knew better.The first night of recovery is the longest and the most difficult. The day after comes with its own challenges. But Makoto resolves to be by Ren’s side through and through.For Shumako Week 2021 Wounds & Trauma/Matching
Relationships: Amamiya Ren/Niijima Makoto, Kurusu Akira/Niijima Makoto, Niijima Makoto/Persona 5 Protagonist
Series: Shumako Week 2021 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2199978
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28
Collections: ShuMako Week 2021





	Rest Now. You’ve Earned It.

**Author's Note:**

> How did two days pass by so quickly? I've been floored by the thoughtful and analytical comments received for this year's collection of Shumako Week stories and it has been a joy replying to each and every one of you. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading!
> 
> Now I know what you're thinking. Like the Shumako Community needs another post interrogation fic, right?

After 30 hours of waiting on pins and needles, barely able to eat or sleep, Makoto received word from her sister. Her hands trembled as she tried to keep her phone steady. One hand covered her mouth to keep herself from crying out. Her eyes brimmed with tears and she sank to her knees.

Alive. Ren was alive.

The plan was a success. They had fooled the traitor. They had gained an ally who was able to change her own heart. The police were no longer actively hunting them. The Phantom Thieves and their closest confidants wondered alike if this meant they were safe.

Not yet.

Though Ren had acted as though he had come out of the interrogation unscathed, he still needed help. His body was in critical condition but no hospital would admit him without asking too many questions. Makoto hated troubling others but this was an emergency. Time was ticking away. She picked up his phone and called a certain back alley doctor they had relied upon in an almost similar situation back in August.

In ten minutes flat, a petite yet intimidating woman with sharp eyes and an even sharper tongue, stormed into the cafe. She had Makoto lead her to the attic then crisply ordered her to wait downstairs or until she was called. Setting her black leather purse on the floor, she whisked out a scope, a penlight, two vials containing a mysterious liquid, and went to work.

Makoto was called back once before she reached the foot of the stairs. She helped Dr. Takemi lift Ren up and applied bandages to where his body had suffered the most trauma. It took everything in her not to cry but she could not stop her hands from trembling, the more damage she saw. Dr. Takemi took the roll from her and sent her downstairs.

Makoto found she was once again waiting on pins and needles. She sat in the furthest booth of the cafe, numb to the cold, numb to the groaning of her aching back and shoulders. She gripped her hands until they were bone-white. Her knuckles protruded as though they were about to pop out of her skin. She didn’t dare move for fear that any noise might disturb Dr. Takemi and if she was called again, she feared she might miss it.

It felt like ages before she heard the slow clack of five inch boots on descend on wooden stairs. After a few moments of tense silence, Makoto summoned her courage to ask the obvious but foreboding question. Her voice cracked, having been silent for hours.

“Dr. Takemi. How - how is he?” 

She scarcely dared to breathe. Takemi shrugged.

“Sleeping. The drugs finally kicked in.”

Makoto bowed deeply. “Thank you for coming on such short notice to help Ren. How can we ever repay you? Whatever the cost, I’ll take care of it somehow, so-”

“Let me stop you right there.” 

The back-alley doctor’s tone ran cold and sharp. Makoto twitched and jerked her head up.

“I’m used to emergency calls, midnight shifts, you name it. I’m used to working after hours. I’m used to operating on patients without anesthesia because the hospital ran out. But coming here in the middle of the night to **_this_**?!” 

She slumped against the wall, gripping a fistful of hair. “What they did to him...”

Her breath shuddered. Makoto raised a concerned hand towards her. She held up one polished finger. After taking a moment to collect herself, she recited Ren’s condition.

“Unresponsive but breathing. Pulse - Irregular. Temperature - Lower than normal. Blood pressure? Just within normal range but dangerously close to being hypertensive. I knew he was involved in something dangerous based on all the physicals. I kept my mouth shut as part of our deal. But now I have to know. What in world have you gotten yourselves into…!?”

“I’m very sorry.” Makoto gripped her hands till they were bone-white again. “If we told you, it would put you at risk.”

But Takemi wasn’t listening. She leaned against the wall, cradling her head.

“No broken bones, no signs of necrosis, but his skin was bruised _black_. Not just purple and blue. **_Black_**. I don’t need to say anymore. You saw...”

A wave of nausea slammed into her, making Makoto clutch her stomach and she felt like something was constricting her breathing. She pushed away those horrific images in her mind. Takemi shuddered again.

“He saved my clinic from going under...” she said in a tight whisper.

Makoto held her hand out in sympathy. “I’m sorry.”

Takemi’s glare was tinged with grief masked by eyeshadow. _Don’t say that._

“He’s important to you, isn’t he?”

Her eyes drifted to the floor. “He’s, um-”

“Don’t answer me like that. Look at me.” 

She locked eyes with the doctor. She saw old, tired, bloodshot eyes weighed down by pounds upon pounds of mascara and sleep deprivation. She saw the eyes of a woman who dealt with years of stress and pressure, and the demands of a male-dominated workplace alone, and refused to break or bend beneath it. Eyes like her sister’s. Eyes telling her to toughen up.

“I’m sure you’d like me to say, just make sure he takes 2 pills every 12 hours and he’ll be good as new after a good night’s rest. But you know recovery is never that simple.” 

Though her voice remained cool, Makoto glimpsed two trembling hands shoved into her coat pockets as she walked towards the door. “I’ve done all I could tonight. I’m going to sleep and if I’m disturbed in any way, I’ll be sorely tempted to recant the Hippocratic Oath.”

Makoto nodded numbly and opened the door for her. Takemi took one step then suddenly wheeled on her.

“Now it’s your turn. Don’t you dare cry when he needs you.”

She bowed her head. “Yes. I’m sorry. And thank you.”

Takemi left. But before she disappeared into the night, she muttered she could be called on if it was an absolute emergency. But only if it was an emergency.

***

After making sure to lock the café door, Makoto returned upstairs to the attic. 

She brought a chair by his bed, taking great care to sit down as quietly as she could and tugged the wrinkles out of her pants and peacoat as was her habit. She exhaled softly and willed herself to look at him. He was bandaged from head to toe - the thicker bandages denoted areas of greater external and internal damage. And he was lying so still. The only way she could tell he still drew breath was if she held her hand near his nostrils. 

“Ren…”

Suddenly his face twisted up in pain as if someone had run an electric current through him. His body jerked and convulsed. His jaw cracked wide open in an airless scream. 

“Ren! Calm down! Please! Just-!”

His back arched and he began thrashing uncontrollably. Makoto steeled herself and held him down by his shoulders.

He roared in pain. She had heard his screams before whenever he was burned or slashed by various Shadows. But not like this. This was agony. And it chilled her to the core.

She gritted her teeth. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I know it hurts, but you’re only injuring your body more this way! Ren, please! You’ve got to **calm down**!”

His body contorted and one arm wrested itself free from Makoto’s grip. It flailed about and struck her side, knocking her to the floor. She rolled to her feet, ignoring the pain shooting up her neck and the disorienting feeling that accompanied it. His legs began jerking uncontrollably. One arm shot out striking empty space. 

“Ren!”

She caught him by the wrist before it slammed into the wall and threw herself over him. 

“Calm down,” she begged him. “Don’t hurt yourself. Please.”

He cried out again.

“Calm down, calm down, calm down…” she whispered over and over until at last, his breathing slowed to normal and his body relaxed. His arms slumped over and her with them. Dr. Takemi’s medicine were finally taking full effect.

She slid off the bed and sat next to him. Ren whimpered.

She tried holding his hand. He shuddered and jerked it out of her grasp.

“Sorry! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. What can I do?” Her hand hovered over him. She stroked his hair as gently as she could. This appeared to calm him and before long, he lay still again.

“I have to go now, but I’ll come see you tomorrow.” she whispered into his ear.

Makoto gathered her things and took one last glance at his sleeping form. As she passed by the couch, a rumpled pile of clothing tossed into a garbage bag caught her eye. Her stomach churned at the sight of it. There was blood on the collar of his turtleneck. Bloodstains were flecked over its body. Some larger than others. Her vision became hazy. She didn’t dare look at the rest. Two quivering footsteps backwards caused her to bump into something soft. It was Ren’s grey hoodie draped on one of the attic chairs. She sank to the floor and hugged his hoodie to her chest. 

_I mustn’t cry._ She told herself as she rocked back and forth. _But, Ren. What can I do for you? How can I ease your pain? Tell me. I don’t even know where to begin-_

“Are you okay, Makoto?”

She felt Morgana’s paw upon her lap. His whiskers brushed her forearm.

“Morgana…”

When she lowered the hoodie from her face, her eyes were dry. It was the face she presented to her sister, when she felt crushed by the emptiness of living in a world without her father but dared not let it show. She knew she had to be on her best behavior, not wanting to worry her sister needlessly. 

Now it was her turn to step up. Everyone else was worried about Ren too. She would help them get through those worries in whatever way she could. 

She smiled and patted his head. “I’ll be back tomorrow. If anything happens, you can call me.”

“Okay. I’ll keep watch over him. I’m wide awake anyhow.” 

Morgana stretched as was the habit of cats winding down for the night, but Makoto noticed the way his ears were slightly flattened against his head, the way his tail drooped. 

“Don’t worry, Makoto. He’s the man I put my expectations in, after all. What’s a little pummeling to a Phantom Thief? He’ll be up in no time!”

He puffed out his little chest in the proud manner of a cat and held his tail high. Makoto smiled knowingly and patted his head again.

“I know.”

“You get some rest too.”

“Right. You too. Good night.”

With one last glance at Ren, she bid him a silent good night and left the attic.

She returned home and collapsed on her bed only to fall into long, unpleasant dreams. Joker volunteered to be the decoy. Before she could call out to him, she was transported atop the alcove of the casino, hands glued to the railing, forced to watch the guards bludgeon him with their truncheons and the ends of their rifles over and over and over. And next to her was the traitor, maskless and looking on with sadistic glee.

For the second night in a row, she felt as though she were trapped in a night where dawn would never arrive.

* * *

_She’s crying. She’s crying again. It’s because of me, isn’t it? Why can’t I call out to her? Don’t cry... Don’t cry. It’s okay, Makoto. It’s okay._

Ren opened his eyes to the familiar sight of the attic’s ceiling and its wooden beams. He turned his head to see Makoto sitting by his bed. He gave her what he hoped was a lazy, casual smile. 

“Hey.”

“Hi,” she whispered back. “How are you feeling?”

“I got some sleep. A few hours maybe? I dunno. And then I ate something. I think.” He waved his hand in the direction of the work station. There was a half-eaten plate of curry and an empty cup on a tray.

“Late breakfast, I take it?”

“Or lunch. Brunch. Something.” 

She laughed softly.

He raised his eyes and said aloud to the ceiling, “What is the time?”

She closed her eyes and recited: “It’s two o’clock in the afternoon. --- And if you’re going to make a literary reference, then you should’ve asked me that a month ago.”

He smirked. “Indulge me, Queen.”

“Then ask me again, Joker.”

He lay down again and inhaled deeply. “Where am I, and what is the time?”

“In Café Leblanc, and it is two o’clock in the afternoon. It is the afternoon of November the twenty-second, if you want to know.”

“Two o’clock?” He looked at her in alarm. “What happened to school?”

“I got permission to go home early.” she said simply.

“But your student council activities. And your practice exams. Weren’t you supposed to review the budget plan submissions from all the sports clubs?”

“Canceled. Brought them with me. They allowed us to work on it from home. There was no way we were getting anything done with all the craziness that’s going on right now.”

“But...your classes…” he flailed.

“I took care of it, Ren. Don’t worry, this isn’t going to interfere with my work.” She shifted her gaze towards his work desk. “Besides, I couldn’t concentrate at school. There’s too much noise. So I came here...”

“I see…” He smiled sheepishly into his blanket. “So...are you going to start on those assignments now?”

“I will.” She turned back. “But first, what do you need? Is there anything I can get you?”

He groaned and sat up. “I should probably take my medicine.”

“I’ll bring you a glass of water.” She jumped to her feet and darted down the stairs.

“No rush…” he called after her. 

He rolled his neck, left then right. His body was quite stiff and he felt pain ranging from dull to sharp whichever way he moved. Though he wished to get out of bed, he knew he needed more rest.

Makoto returned within a minute.

“Ren, water.”

“Thanks. Just set it on the window sill.” He uncorked the medicine bottle and shook two pills in his hand, pausing when he caught her trying not to wince at the mottled dark bruises on his body.

“Aww, don’t look at me like that. It looks worse than it feels.”

“W-what do you mean? I-it’s rude to stare so...” she muttered, once again shifting her gaze towards the work desk. The trauma from the night before crept around the edges of her mind. She silenced them. Ren was awake now. That was what mattered. And she was going to help him.

He smirked and popped them in his mouth. He finished swallowing when his hand spasmed. “Gh-!”

She caught his hand and the cup. Ren gasped in pain like she had burned him. Makoto grabbed the cup from him as quickly and delicately as she could before any water could spill over.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know. You were just trying to help.”

She grimaced when she saw a small dark splotch near his knee. “I’ll clean that up.”

“Leave it.”

“But it’s wet there. You shouldn’t-”

“Just leave it.” he said, a bit more firmly than he wanted.

“O-okay. I’ll fill the cup with less water next time.” She set the cup down on his work desk.

He shoved his hands beneath the blankets. “Sorry about that. It’s not your fault.”

She shook her head. She wanted to take his hands in hers, tell him he had nothing to apologize for, but admittedly it pained her to see Ren like this. But she recalled Dr. Takemi’s advice and her own resolve. She inhaled through her nose and released it slowly through her mouth. Feeling calmer, she kept her hands folded in front of her and returned to her seat by his bed.

“Ren-”

“Makoto, lis-”

They laughed at the same time.

“You first.” he said, inclining his head.

“Actually, I forgot what I was going to say.” she said with an awkward grin. “What were you going to say?”

He laughed again, like he had forgotten as well. “You look like you didn’t get much sleep.” 

He reached over and touched her cheek with the tips of his bandaged fingers, as lightly as a butterfly rests upon dew. She kept absolutely still. He slowly lowered his hand.

 _It’s because of me, isn’t it?_ His eyes said. 

She smiled at him. She knew he would see weariness in her smile but she hoped at the very least, it was a reassuring smile.

“Did Morgana sleep okay?”

He tilted his head slightly. “Morgana? I think so. Why?”

Her small smile pulled into a small smirk. “He said you snore. Like a jackhammer. Especially when you’re very tired.”

“I don’t know what he told you exactly but that’s all him. Okay? All of it.”

Then he flopped back down with his arms folded in indignation.

“I hate to be a bad host, but I’m sort of exhausted from all the - the medicine and yeah...”

She smiled gently and tucked him in, smoothing the blanket over his shoulders. “Not at all.”

His head sank into the pillow, slowly being lulled back to slumberland under the weight of the covers and Makoto’s gentle hands. He jerked himself awake.

“Stay?” he asked in a small voice.

“Where do you want me?” she whispered.

He shifted his head to the right of his pillow and looked at her.

She laid her head next to his. His hand poked out from the covers and she slid her hand over to meet it. Their knuckles brushed against each other. He chuckled warmly and pressed his nose into her hair. “What a nice smell.”

“What? I haven’t washed my hair in days!”

“That’s why it smells nice. It’s your scent.”

Even in his delirious state he could make her blush like no other. Or was it the drugs doing the talking? 

Fine. This time she would allow it. 

“Honestly…” she mumbled into his pillow.

His breath was warm on her hair and though his hand was still tender and swollen, he did not pull away. He laughed lightly, taking care to not aggravate his ribcage.

“Thanks for listening to my selfish request. You can leave when you need to.”

“Shh. Just focus on resting. Sleep.”

Ren smiled contentedly when she stroked his hair. It was the most she could do for him, he knew.

“You know,” he murmured, eyes closed. “This is the first time I woke up with someone waiting for me. It’s nice...”

“Eh? This can’t possibly be the first time… I mean...” She shook her head. Imagining waking up next to him in their married life, wasn’t helping her to quell her blushing either. “What about your mother? Didn’t she take care of you when you were sick?”

He opened his eyes. They were unfocused, like he was recalling a faint memory, long forgotten.

“On the extremely rare occasion that I was, it was more like, ‘ _How irresponsible can you be?! Hurry up and get better. You mustn’t fall behind on your studies!_ ’. Once that lecture was over, in came the onslaught of soups and different kinds of herbal medicine. And she would always fuss about every little detail until I was, in her book one hundred percent better. Eventually, I found that it was easier to take care of myself so she wouldn’t wear herself out like that. Eh, you know how mothers are.”

Makoto could only smile politely at that. He cleared his throat quietly.

“Sorry, uh, that was the medicine talking. Ignore me!”

She laughed into her hand. “Uh-huh, sure. Let’s blame the medicine. Sleep, Ren.”

He closed his eyes and she went back to stroking his hair. “But well, I can understand that while it sounded like your mother was nagging you, I’m sure it was because she was worried. My father was like that when I was sick… My sister even more so!”

The corner of his mouth pulled. He felt that if he didn’t stop talking, Makoto would take it as a sign to let him rest. He didn’t want to sleep just yet and it seemed she didn’t want to leave his side either.

“So uh, how are things at school?”

“About the same, more or less.” she said, tossing her hair back. “The latest topic of interest is, you guessed it: The Phantom Thieves and what really happened to their leader. The teachers had a hard time getting the class to focus.”

“I’ll bet.” he said, quirking an eyebrow.

“And the school board is still looking to hire a new principal. They jokingly asked me to fill in, in the meantime.”

“Should’ve taken it.”

She sat up and shook her head. “No way. That would be way too much responsibility. And they’d have to be insane to hire an eighteen year old with no job experience. Besides, I’m aiming for a career in law enforcement not education.” 

“Think about how it’d boost your resume.” His hand popped out and he mimed reading a most impressive CV. “They’d look at it and go, ‘Wow, a student council president _and_ substitute principal at age eighteen? At the prestigious Shujin Academy? This woman is beyond qualified. We have to hire her now. No ifs, ands, or buts.’” 

“Oh, stop. You’re being ridiculous now.” She crossed her arms, though she couldn’t keep herself from lightly blushing.

“Please. You were practically doing his job for him anyway.” He scoffed. “This way, you’d actually get the credit you deserve.”

“Ren…! That’s not!” She glanced around the room and lowered her voice. “You shouldn’t put it like that.”

“Why not? He dumped all the hard work on you while he sucked up all the praise and that sweet, sweet funding. Probably called it ‘preparing you for the real world’, huh?” he said sardonically.

She would have given him a playful tap on the nose right there. Instead she smiled at him. 

“I’m okay now. The old me would have lashed out. She would have asked why everyone kept getting on her case. How unfair everything seemed. But now I know.” She looked down at her hands and formed two determined fists. “This strength I possess is not be used to defend my own self. Because a certain someone helped me see beyond my own narrow, little world. And so, I’ll use that strength to protect those important to me.”

“Johanna must be a great teacher…” Came his muffled voice from under the blankets.

“Yes, Johanna too. But I was referring to a person not a Persona. A person who is very important to me.”

She could see the tips of his ears tinged red. She chuckled warmly. He peeked at her sheepishly from between the covers.

“Can I have some water?” he rasped.

Makoto had a half glass ready when he sat up.

“Thanks.”

Ren took a few sips but make himself take another before handing it back. She smiled knowingly. Then she carefully helped him lie down and when he had found a comfortable position, or rather had settled for lying on his back, she tucked him in again.

“If you’re cold, you can wear my hoodie. It should be...somewhere in the room.” His hand poked out and he pointed vaguely behind them.

She tucked it back beneath the covers. “I’m fine. But tell me if it gets too warm or too cold. Or if you need me to get you something. I’ll be right here.”

He yawned again. “Thanks, Makoto. But it’s a school day, right? So don’t stay too late. I don’t want to you to miss your train ‘cause of me.”

“Ren,” she said, with a patient smile. “What should you be doing right now?”

“Sleep?”

“Sleep.”

When he eventually dozed off much to her relief, Makoto brushed away some fuzz on his pillowcase, letting one hand pass through his hair before sitting down.

“If only these wounds were inflicted in the Metaverse. I could heal you instantly.” she whispered. Wishful thinking would do no good now. Recovery would be a slow, gradual process. Ren would smile and act like normal so he wouldn’t worry his friends. He would probably head out in secret to help them out as soon as his strength returned. So that they could see his face, see that he was doing fine, bandages and swollen face aside. But when he was alone, he would allow himself to break. 

She closed her eyes. 

_Please let me be strong enough to help him. I’ve already made him endure so much by himself._

He was fully asleep now. His breathing was even and color had returned to his face. Although it was an unnatural sleep induced by pharmaceuticals, Dr. Takemi’s medicine would allow him to rest, free from pain.

She brushed some stray locks away from his eyes. “Don’t worry. I’ll be here, studying in my usual spot. You know where to find me.”

Makoto rose quietly and took a moment to look around the room. Dusty as usual and his personal effects were strewn about. Tools for lockpicking, souvenirs from tourist attractions, her Gi-Nyant Doll sitting on the display shelf, rented movies, the old game console controllers wrapped in a tangle of wires and chip crumbs. The bag of bloodstained clothes was still there. She brought her hand to her chin and thought for a bit. Then she picked up the tray of half-eaten curry and stole down the steps.

* * *

Ren awoke to the sight of glow-in-the-dark stars dotted across the ceiling beams, wishing he hadn’t slept so long. His body ached all over and his nose and eyes felt dry and puffy.

“Makoto...?”

He sat up and massaged his temples. “What time is it?”

He stumbled out of bed and grabbed his grey hoodie, neatly folded at the foot of his bed. He zipped it up and when he threw on the hood, it made him pause. He sniffed it and smiled.

“So you did use it.” he whispered to himself. “Hope it wasn’t too cold for you, although - Oh.”

The heater sat in the corner, unplugged. He tested the vent. Still warm.

“Ren. You’re awake!”

His head jerked toward the foot of the stairs. “Morgana. Where’s-”

“She just got on the train.”

“So I just missed her. Darn…” he mused, running his fingers down the lining of his hoodie.

Morgana hopped on the table. “She insisted on staying just in case you woke up but I sent her home. It was getting really late and - you know, if you need to wipe your nose, use a tissue. Not your clothes.”

Ren flicked his hood away. “I’m fine. Anyway, thanks for telling her that.” 

“Oh, yeah. She wanted to let you know she took notes for you. And the assignments from Kawakami are on the desk. You sure your nose is okay?”

“Yep. You have no idea how nice it is not to smell blood lodged in your nostrils anymore.” He sniffed again. “I’m hungry.”

“I saw Chief leave a plate of curry in the fridge for you. And Makoto packed up what you didn’t eat from lunch.”

“Great. I’ll look at her notes later. I also wanna take a bath but I think they’re already closed...”

Morgana stretched from head to tail. “Message her as soon as you can. You should have seen her. She was stalling till the last minute, fussing over stuff like if you had enough blankets and water or if the heater made the room too hot. And she cleared the floor so you wouldn’t trip over anything. ‘Cept your own two feet apparently.”

The cat snickered behind one paw as Ren stumbled and caught himself on the staircase’s railing.

“Y-yeah.” He readjusted his glasses. “Makoto, you worry too much.”

Ren reheated some curry in the microwave. He checked his messages while he ate slowly, stopping once in a while to massage his bruised jaw.

> _M. Niijima: You’ll find your assignments and notes on your desk. And hand cream. If your skin feels dry, please use it. Medicine, ointments, and bandages are on your windowsill._
> 
> _I’ve ordered your assignments by date and subject. Let me know if you have any questions._

He smirked. Thorough as usual.

There was one final message presumably sent on the train.

> _M. Niijima: I have to go now. Morgana said to leave it to him. Rest well, Ren. I’ll talk to you tomorrow if I don’t hear from you tonight._

Ren took one more bite, packed away the rest of his dinner, and quickly rinsed his plate. He felt more starved for conversation than for food. 

Morgana ears perked up when he heard Ren’s footsteps. “You’re done eating already?”

“Yeah. What about you?”

“Eh, don’t worry about me. Chief and I had a superb meal together.” 

What he didn’t tell Ren was Sojiro had to carry him down when he refused to leave the foot of his bed.

“That’s good to hear.” He rubbed his neck. “I’m just gonna make a call real quick so...”

“Yeah, I gotcha. Nice night for a walk anyway.” 

Ren only caught a glimpse of a white tuft of tail slipping out the window, before Morgana even finished speaking.

After a silent moment of thanks, he checked the time. “She should be home by now.”

He typed out a short message, set his phone on his pillow, leaned back, and waited for his phone to ring. The call came within five minutes.  
“Ren!” Came her concerned voice over the receiver. “Are you sure you should be up? Shouldn’t you be resting?”

“I’ve sort of been doing that all day.”

She laughed awkwardly as she imagined him rubbing his neck, jokingly stating the obvious. “So you have. Well, what’s on your mind?”

“Nothing really. I didn’t get to talk with you much today so I thought if you had some time...”

“Of course.” She nodded though she knew he couldn’t see her. “I really wanted to stay. At least to say goodnight if you happened to wake up.”

“I know. Saw the notes and everything. Whoa, did you do the laundry for me? How did I not notice till now?”

She could hear him sorting his clothes.

“A little… It was piling up and I had time so...” She inhaled sharply and took a moment to collect herself. “Your uniform is all ready to go. But I had to bleach your turtleneck. It had some...stubborn stains.” 

He sighed softly. “T-thanks. And thanks for cleaning up too. Um, the room’s so much easier to walk in now.”

“It’s the least I could do…”

“It’s already a lot.” 

He smiled to himself, knowing she was fiddling with her hair.

She shook her head out of habit whenever someone complimented her. “You’re the one who’s always doing so much for us. You do most of the shopping so we’re well supplied for battle, and you’re always making sure we have the best weapons and tools on hand. Oh, do you need me to pick up anything for you? Or would you like me to relay any messages to your associates? I’ll be around Central Street so...”

“No. Thanks though. Just relax for now.”

He sank down on his pillow and massaged his wrists. He was glad she was available to talk. It took his mind off the pain.

“Ah, right. I’ll probably be stuck here, loafing around for the next week or so. But you guys can head to Mementos for training and stuff. If you want. I think you guys can handle yourselves. You’ve got Morgana and Futaba as the Navigators, you’re good at coordinating attacks, and everyone else knows their position-”

“We’re not going anywhere without you, Ren.” she said firmly but gently. “We’re laying low for now. Just as you are.”

He smiled to himself. “So how is everyone doing? Have you had a chance to speak with them?”

“I gave them the gist of how you’re doing in the group chat. They didn’t want to spam you with messages so...” Makoto began telling him what the rest of the Thieves were doing and that they were hoping to visit him soon.

“They wanted to tell you, ‘don’t worry about us so hurry up and get better’.”

“Heh. I see.” He could feel his body winding down. “Hey, thanks for staying up to talk with me. I’ll let you go for tonight.”

“Oh, Ren.”

“Hmm?”

“I’m coming over to see you tomorrow.”

“Really?”

She could hear the smile in his voice. The first goodbye was never the one that ended their phone calls. There was always one more thing.

“Yes. We can’t have you falling behind on your studies, now can we?”

“Right…” His mattress squeaked as he turned over.

“Why do you sound disappointed?” she asked, lifting Buchimaru-kun into her lap. “You don’t want to be held back a year, do you?”

“No, that’s not it. I mean, is that the only reason?”

“The only reason?” she said, giving Buchimaru-kun an inquiring look.

“I mean, doesn’t it make you happy that you get to see me or something...” he said, sounding unusually bashful.

Buchimaru-kun sailed into the air. “That---!! That goes without saying! What are you laughing for? I knew it! You’re just teasing me! Geez...Ren! Stop laughing!”

“Ow, it hurts to laugh.”

“Ren…” she whined.

He kept laughing despite the pain. But he felt better than before. “What to do? Hearing that makes me wish it was tomorrow already.”

She righted her panda plushie and patted his head. “Then I’ll come see you the day after tomorrow. And the next day. And the next. And on the weekend, I can stay the entire day.”

“That’s really - I’m glad to hear that but… Makoto, be careful.”

He was sitting up straight now, legs crossed, brow slightly furrowed.

“I know, Ren.” she replied calmly, sensing the wariness in his voice. “As far as anyone’s concerned, I’m just here for the coffee.”

“Still though.”

“Yes, I understand. Please worry about yourself more.”

He chuckled mirthfully. “That’s my line.”

“Alright, I shouldn’t keep you any longer.” She cradled her phone. “Good night, Ren. Sleep well.”

“Hey, Makoto? Did I say anything weird last night?”

She was quiet for a moment.

“You mean more than usual?”

“That’s mean…”

She laughed. He laughed and flopped down on his bed.

“Sorry about the weird question. Thanks again for taking care of me.”

“Of course. Good night.”

She clutched her phone to her chest and bowed her head, weeping silent tears. It was so good to hear his voice again. It was so good to see him smile again. To share a laugh and a smile with him so soon. Thank goodness. Oh, thank goodness.

They would never see Ren at his weakest. They would never know the full extent of his suffering. It was something she would keep to herself. Makoto opened her eyes and looked down at her hands. Her entire body was shaking. She cocooned herself in her blankets, suddenly feeling heavy in heart and very small.

Tormented and plagued with guilt, her thoughts gave way to self-reproach and self-contempt. He had committed himself to the plan and this was the result. Broken. Weakened. In excruciating pain. And yet there was not a hint of bitterness nor resentment when he looked at her. She shuddered and pushed those thoughts away. She could cry about it later. She knew she would never know how much Ren had suffered and endured, how close he had come to losing his life, but she vowed she would always be there for him.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Notes/Ramblings:
> 
> -And then one week later, [Second Meetings, First Impressions ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18570370) happens.  
> This is the third story I wrote in between writing Past the Gloom and to this day, remains my favorite story dedicated to P5’s strongest couple. Everything I admire and adore about them is woven into that story.
> 
> -I wasn’t satisfied with leaving the story open with Makoto struggling through feelings of guilt and her duty --- until I wrote and completed [chapter 3 of Curry Commotion](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19894183/chapters/65222932#workskin) where Ren and Makoto are finally able to be open and honest about their feelings and slowly begin to heal from this traumatic situation.  
> Give it a read, if you please. Perhaps it's a little odd to have the author recommend additional reading, but I think it will provide some much needed closure for this story.
> 
> -I think Makoto would feel responsible for what happened to him as both the one who came up with the majority of the plan and as co-leader and team strategist. But most of all because she cares deeply for him. She’s hurt when he’s hurt. Ren understands that part of her and thus tries to hide his pain from her so he doesn’t add to her pain.
> 
> -The game kind of glosses over the fact that he’s beaten black and blue, drugged up, and who knows what else. There’s no way he can be okay after one day. What if there was a nightmare sequence in the Velvet Room? Alarms blaring, the lighting blood red, and he finds himself in an intense do-or-die situation. A mind battle with his Personas to regain control of his mind and body. If he fails, his body succumbs to the beatings and poison but if he overcomes the trial, the “game” can continue.
> 
> -The game also glosses over the principal’s death. It feels as though it was there mainly for shock factor, an indicator that things were getting really serious after the fun and games (and filler) that was the Hawaii school trip. Makoto returns from the school trip and cheerfully says she brought souvenirs for her big sister, and the first thing out of Sae’s mouth is not a “welcome back”, but a blunt “the principal died”. (Love you too, Sis...) 
> 
> -The school makes the announcement and the faculty isn’t particularly bereaved by his death, and Shujin seems to function fine without him for the rest of the school year…  
> They probably could have added some dialogue about how the vacant principal position was being addressed, maybe have Kawakami tell the protagonist how things were doing at school while he’s laying low. 
> 
> -Perhaps the devs wanted to do more with his character (a shadow in Mementos prior to the mental shutdown?) but didn’t have time to implement it.
> 
> -Instead, we have the Stage Play where the principal is actually an oddly likeable but pathetic character. He’s the fat, toadying sort who feeds off people’s praise and piggybacks off other people’s fame and accomplishments. It’s why he and Kamoshida got along so well in the first play. But when dealing with Makoto, his more demanding and pathetic side comes out, when he dumps all the responsibility onto her to investigate the Phantom Thieves and refuses to offer any assistance. He even threatens to rescind her recommendation letter when she rightly protests against such unfair demands.
> 
> -Or perhaps it some sort of social commentary on how desensitized we’ve become towards the death of a human being. Especially if it has nothing to do with us and what encompasses “me and my world”.
> 
> -Jun Fukuyama does pain so well! When that sadistic bastard kicks him in the stomach and he coughs up a lung, when Joker gets hurt in battle, when he tears off his mask like a bad scab, it cuts into you.
> 
> -'Where am I, and what is the time?' he said aloud to the ceiling.  
> 'In the House of Elrond, and it is ten o'clock in the morning.' said a voice. 'It is the morning of October the twenty-fourth, if you want to know.'
> 
> Fellowship of the Ring, Book 2, Ch. 1 Many Meetings
> 
> -If there’s an opportune moment for a Lord of the Rings reference I will take it!


End file.
